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At first, everything was amazing. We hit it off right away and during the first few weeks, he seemed super into me. He was also super attentive and super sweet. Is He Losing Interest? For example, in the beginning, both of you might feel a lot of excitement and also an undercurrent of fearful restlessness.

The excitement is on thinking about all the things they like about you. The fear is rooted in insecurities: What are they feeling? I really like you too! In the beginning phase of a relationship, the guy wants you to like him and wants to know that you do. This is a normal and healthy thing. So one of the ways they might see if you like them is to do and say anything they can think of that they think you would like.

What Do Men Like in a Woman? I took the time to explain the first phase of relationships and the role insecurity can play because I want to make a few important points here:.

He feels secure and he feels the current relationship dynamic is secure. This is around the time where things are starting to get comfortable: If you have a guy who is not open to getting into a relationship with you, a scenario like this might play out:. It makes me sad to see, but there are a lot of relationships I see where the guy is insecure and wants to make sure the woman likes him.

He does all sorts of things to woo her and win her over, but simultaneously, he for whatever reason does not want to be in an exclusive relationship. But the problem here is this: I mean, think about it: He already knows you have decided to be exclusive to him.

So from his perspective, this is a perfect situation: He still gets to be technically single but also has your ongoing exclusive commitment, sex, and companionship. When a Guy Withdraws After Sex. While in the beginning, his insecurity was compelling him to do everything he could to woo you and win you over, now his insecurity is satisfied and his mind has moved on to other things. He cancels plans, he goes MIA for days at a time, he acts distant. You will always feel like the relationship is just out-of-reach.

It sounds simple and it is. Women make the mistake of thinking that you can choose anyone and then someone entice, convince or inspire him to want a relationship. I have seen it happen the other way, where women are on the other side of the tables — pouring the sweetness on thick and then pulling back to test how much the guy will put up with.

Either way, you win. So in other words, you either get into a clear relationship or you save yourself from weeks, months or years on a guy who was never going to commit in the way you wanted! However, what if you are seeing a guy who wants a relationship or is at least open to one , but he seems to be withdrawing? One of the qualities of a healthy relationship is that you and your partner are able to give each other space.

After almost a decade of working with men and women, it is almost guaranteed that whenever I see a partner withdrawing in a relationship, I see the other partner has trouble giving them space. However, the fuel of all of your behavior in this case is rooted in fear and this gives off a vibe of desperation and neediness. It sucks the fun and enjoyment out of the relationship because instead of you being the fun, carefree, happy person you were when the relationship began, now spending time with you feels murky and serious and dark.

Fear of loss is a self-fulfilling prophecy. That is to say, the fear of the problem actually becomes the cause of the problem. Granted, this only applies to a relationship where you have a committed, exclusive relationship in the first place. Perhaps a better way to say it: You bring security, worth and well-being into your relationship and share it. And he does too!

You bring these things into the relationship and share them. The reason for it is simple: When you bring good feelings into the relationship, the relationship feels good to be in! Relationships work best when both people come into it whole, happy and fulfilled, and as the relationship progresses, continue to view the relationship as a place that they bring their happiness into and share it. Guys are highly receptive to the mood and energy of a relationship.

When you make your mood a priority and live in a way that has you feeling happy on the inside… and you bring that happy emotional tone into the relationship… he will respond to it over time and start bringing that emotional tone into the relationship too.

I hope this article helped you better understand why guys withdraw. But there is more you need to be aware of. Most guys will start to pull away at some point. They may even lose interest. Do you know how to handle it when this happens? If not, you run the risk of making a common, and major, mistake that might push him further away so be sure to read this next: Am 34 and his 55 I love him with all my heart.

Normally half naked girls. We moved on but now he flirts with other girls without even noticing. My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for 4 years this July. He and I have lived together for going on 2 years. He sort-of, but not really asked me to marry him last year. Anyway, this year he became really cold and distant suddenly. This year, he bought me a dog after refusing to for years, but then treats me like he hates me. Can someone tell me what happened?

I know that I cheated on him when we first got together, and I know my supposed friend told him that as a last stab last year to break us up. I know he works crazy hours and is super stressed. But everything points to him not loving me anymore. Like that just finishes the conversation. Today, he went outside with the dog, and I went out there to be with both of them, and he immediately went inside, like I had done something awful by disturbing him out there with her.

Nothing really special, just not awful. And I soak it up like a desperate puppy. I think I hate that the most. When did I become this person? Is all of this behavior my fault? You need to take the focus away from him and put it on yourself.

He is only going to pull away more. I know this is very hard to grasp, but you need to stop being afraid of losing him. YOU are the most important person in this story. Start taking care of yourself without his help. Stop focusing on him and the relationship failing. Do activities you love doing, or try new ones you never have before. Get yourself out of the house and away from him.

Revolve your days around yourself. This is going to help you with your depression and your self esteem. You need to see that your life and your happiness does not revolve around him. You have plenty of other important people and things in your life that can make you happy.

Stop the chasing completely and focus on making yourself busy with other people and other activities. I promise you, if he is a good man and he truly wants you, he will start to come back. Embrace him and what he gives you. You HAVE to continue to focus on you and your happiness no matter what—even if you marry this guy. Enjoy the time you have with him.

You can be happy on your own; the man is supposed to be a nice added bonus. You have to get back in touch with yourself and get control of your unhappiness. Your happiness and your sanity are more important than this relationship. You need to love yourself first. Know your worth, and start working on it immediately.

Behind our cool exteriors a lot of men stress just as much, about similar things. I am currently suffering from anxiety from a similar situation.


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