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Today was school picture day and several sports picture day. If you've missed out on ordering your child's portrait there's still time to order online at focused. The deadline for those packets is October 23rd. Please specify on the order form which sport you are ordering. The options for this picture day are: If you have any questions please call the school at Sports pictures will also be taken tomorrow.

We apologize for not having these forms sent home but students will bring them home tomorrow. The sport picture forms will be due back on Tuesday, October 23rd. Please have any student who plays Basketball, Football or Cross Country please bring your uniform to school tomorrow Thursday, October 11th.

Every lunch is served with milk. Spaghetti, meatballs, carrots, bread. Ham, asparagus cinnamon roll, peaches. Hamburger, chips, lettuce, tomato, pickle, orange.

Lasagna, green beans, peaches, bread stick. Pancakes on stick, honeydew. Fish patty, black eyed peas, bread, pears. Pop tarts, apple, grapes. Chicken sandwich, corn blueberries. Frito chili pie, pinto beans, pineapple. Hamburger patty, carrots, bread, mixed fruit. French toast sticks, mango. Chicken breast, salad, strawberries. Nachos, refried beans, apple.

Stew, crackers, cheese stick, dill pickle, pears. Chicken pot pie, pickle, cheese stick, graham cracker, cherries. Ham bars, graham crackers, blueberries. Deadline is November 15th. Orders will be delivered the week of December 10th. Click Here to check out the gear and place your order.

We believe that all students have the potential and desire to be successful learners and will succeed in relation to the expectations, opportunities, support, and recognition we provide. We intend to see that all students receive the opportunities and support they need. We believe it is the responsibility of parents and schools to provide learning environments that offer security, understanding, acceptance, respect, and direction from caring adults.

If the parents fail to provide, then we as a school will. We believe that students will take responsibility for successful learning when they know the purpose of what they are learning and its relation to the larger context of life. We believe it is the responsibility of parents and schools to provide a diversity of both academically and socially successful experiences in the lives of our students.

Our extra-curricular activities will be designed to build self-esteem for all of our students. Deforest TallBear — President. Donna Wehmuller — Clerk. Jim Hrdy - Member. Loren Tackett — Superintendent. El Reno, OK April Beard — Pre-K. Wanda Martin — Kindergarten and Library. Hayli Hanes — Pre-K. Rebecca Yost — First Grade.

Grachel Crews — First Grade. Michelle Acuff — Second Grade. Myra Pierson — Third Grade. Jennifer Base — 7 th and 8 th Grade Math. Dara Franklin — Indian Education Coordinator. Pre-K — Second Grade P. Kim VanGundy — Administrative Assistant. Tammy Maples — Teacher Assistant. Melissa Tsotaddle — Teacher Assistant. Rene Fox — Teacher Assistant. Melissa Robinson — Teacher Assistant. Terry Davis — Teacher Assistant. Mona Pierson — Teacher Assistant. Candace Pierson - Teacher Assistant.

Garrison Garner - Teacher Assistant. Larissa Raley — Teacher Assistant. Susie Musae — Teacher Assistant. Brilyn Smith — Teacher Assistant. Myra Brothers — Cook. Tim Brothers — Cook.

Jan Murphy — Cook. Personal information and health forms must be completed at attendance of orientation by parent before entrance of a child is permitted. The school should be notified if your child is taking medication. Any medication sent to school should have written instruction as how the medication is to be administered.

All children entering Oklahoma schools must have verification of immunity to polio, measles, and DPT. Student records will be requested from previous school upon student enrollment at Darlington School. A birth certificate must be provided upon enrollment. The fact that the District has adopted a transfer policy does not mean that every transfer application will be accepted. Approval of a transfer is contingent upon the applicant agreeing in writing to cancellation of the transfer if the student does not comply with the rules and regulations of the district.

Students should refrain from getting to school before 8: Students who wish to eat breakfast may do so between 8: Students will assemble in the gymnasium in the designated area until they are excused to class. School will dismiss at 3: Bus riders will assemble on the bleachers while car riders will be escorted to the front of the school. If you must pick your child up early please inform the office.

Darlington practices fire, tornado, lock down, intruder and bus safety drilled twice per year. All students have a right to attend school in an environment conducive to learning. Since alcohol and other drug use is illegal and interferes with both effective learning and the healthy development of young people, the Darlington Public School has a fundamental, legal, and ethical obligation to prevent drug use and to maintain a drug-free educational environment. The Darlington School District does not discriminate on the grounds of race, color, national origin, sex, age, or disability, in the educational programs or activities, which it operates.

Department of Health, Education, and Welfare, not to discriminate in such a manner. The requirements not to discriminate in educational programs and activities extend to employment in the School District. Any school group desiring to have a school-sponsored activity should first secure the approval of their sponsor.

They should then check with the principal, who may give approval and schedule the event on the school calendar. All requests for such school activities should be made at least one week before the activity is to take place. At no time will money be left overnight in the school building. Students and teachers with school money to deposit will turn it in to the secretary before All school money will be deposited each day.

Lockers at Darlington are the property of the Darlington Public School. Locker contents are subject to school inspection.

Administrators have the right to conduct locker inspections to rid the lockers of trash, dangerous weapons, and contraband. Administrators also have the right to remove school contents, such as overdue library books, so that they can be placed in their proper locations.

Students should not have anything in their lockers, which they do not want school officials to see. Lockers are provided to every fifth, sixth, seventh and eighth grade student.

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Madame Cholet tries to make her realise, but only brings down the wrath of Uncle Bulgaria, the slightly right wing leader of the pack. He remembers only too well that if wombles fall in love, they stop collecting litter.

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Frank and Esme are falling in love in the largest anthill in Colorado. Will Frank and Esme have to sacrifice themselves, or will they return to take their rightful place at the top of the anthill?

Love blossoms between them, and everything seems perfect until Geoffrey indulges in an indiscreet moment in the Lime Grove with Princess Jemima. Can anyone be happy? Can love bridge the class divide? And who is this Sheik Rafiki? Two English sisters have been without male company since their father took over the governorship of an Indian province. He is so modern that he allows her to ask him for his hand in marriage, which leads to a duel on the croquet lawn.

When Samantha is caught in the crossfire, Charles must take her body to the temple to try and get her back. But can he give up modernism and believe in the gods of the past in order to save her?

Xerxes is leading a mission to find a new home for the human race, but his love for Belinda threatens to put everyone in danger. Landing on Cloud 9, he is confronted with his past. Can he control his emotions for long enough to save everyone?

Empath Sensodon thinks not, but then she has never felt an emotion of her own until she spends an evening alone with robot Jim. The plane crashes on Jungle Isle. Can they put aside their hazy past and work together to get the plane flying again? As love flourishes in the jungle, someone must take responsibility and recognise whose fault it really is….

Since losing her voice and her mind, diva Josephine has been resident in a New York sanitorium, under the watchful eye of ex-guitarist, Dr Benson. But with rival pharmaceutical companies vying for control of the pills that are hard to swallow, her sanity is further threatened. Will Dr Benson make her realise that love is not a placebo? Miranda always wins the knobbly knees competition at the Clacton on Sea Butlins, but is it because of her knees or because she has also won the heart of already-married Mr Cartwright?

When they run away together to set up Haven Holidays in Pimlico, his wife follows them and demands her share of the camp. But can Jockey Sam and the butler make her see that Billy Bunter, the ballusionist, is really the man for her?

But her ideals of free love leave the Vatican unimpressed — and Sondheim heartbroken. In a fight between the devils and the angels, only Cardinal Rogers seems to see that the only way is up. When it seems that Stanley has been growing the ganja, Mary can no longer trust him, but who is he really working for, and is the mysterious Jessica their landlady, their maid, or Carlo in disguise?

Shoe fetishism meets nostalgic rock and roll on the border. After spinning the Wheel of Jobs she becomes a camel herder. Can they finally admit their love and avert disaster — for when the camels leave, Oblimey will fall.

In an Albanian female penitentiary Australian murderess Sonia is faced with an almost impossible choice to secure her pardon. When things take a turn for the worse, her friends Rudy and Agnia offer to take the blame. Will she stave off the ghosts of the past and secure her return to Bondi Beach?

When obsessively clean Dafydd Morgan fires Trevor and Roderick from the Asda cheese counter for crossing the cheese wire divide, he probably blows his chances with Michelle at the same time. Moira and Fingle are simply friends. When Moira agrees to give Fingle a chance at love if he can climb the cursed Big Loaf to find the thing up there with the big teeth, wandering eyes and worse hands, he and Peter set off to climb the peak, meeting a lost wombat on the way.

But the magic at the top of the hill swaps their bodies and minds and on their return confusion is rife and it seems that Fingle has lost his love for good. But can she see past his furry wombat body to the true man inside, or will his bitter mother and her magic well ruin everything? Old man Johnson is dead and mourning at his graveside are his wife Jacqueline, his son David and his adopted ward Cynthia.

Why would he not mourn the loss of the man who invented advertising? Can Thomas forgive his brother for using his ideas or will he forever be moulded like a piece of clay?

Talulah works at the Waikiki Beach Bar with Dad and Gran, but when surfers Chuck and Dan arrive for the surf competition, she finally gets a chance to fulfill her dream of leaving the Big Island in the Sea. When the volcano on Hawaii erupts, threatening her family, Talulah has to return.

But will Chuck go with her? But is it too late for her to return to Bugsy, or has he decided that the muck at the bottom of the fridge is more appetising than the butter on the top shelf? Lord Puff Puff has decided to take a holiday from the island of Utopia, leaving his nephew Tony in charge. But last time he did that, Tony fell in love with Charlotte and ruined everything.

Can he resist the pull of chocolate this time, or does love always lead to despair? On board The Traviata, Jim tries to dissuade Sam from pursuing Lady McMillan, not only because she is upper class, but she is married to a known gangster. Unfortunately, his love for her is mutual and a terrible sequence of events are set off, which lead to abandoning ship for the lifeboats with the gangster, his goons, and his niece Gertie. But when Sam is killed, they all go back to the ship, and a bomb explodes.

Or will the goons shake the snowglobe and see what really happened? Charles and John Wentworth continue the family tradition of sibling rivalry and betting on the Gold Cup. But when they gamble for the affections of stable owner Sandra and mucker out Rosie, the stakes prove too high. Can they put aside their differences and mount Golden Ganesh for the ultimate prize?

His attraction to fellow murderer Patsy leads to their escape, leaving Suz and Henry, already serving 25 years over the theft of a dime, to face the wrath of Warden Popeye Bueller. But why are Hoover and Eisenhower so determined to keep Big Al under lock and key? When tragedy strikes and one more star is sent to heaven, Paolo discovers who his real parents are, but what does the one eyed man in the boiler room know, and can Paolo live up to his potential?

At a luxury ski resort in France, Henri is trying to win the much sought after Toadstool Trophy. But will his love for Geraldine or his long standing rivalry with Philippe Crevasse prevent him from achieving his dream?

But Matterhorn has allowed women, Sonia and Esmerelda on board, determined not to make the same mistakes as his father. As they near the Southern Lights, passions and tensions get stronger and more destructive. A mutiny, a lost leg, a revelation and a family reunited for a short time, all lead Clive Matterhorn to his destiny. He soon catches the eye of Tiffany, a prim and proper right-wing Christian. Lewis loves carefree, childlike Jemima — almost as much as he loves hand-crafting traditional wooden toys.

Maybe, if he works hard enough, Lewis can make enough wooden reindeer by Christmas Day to turn it all around…. Over the road, Dundee works at the finest patisserie. But whose father is he really? And can love cross class lines? Captain Sampson is delighted to have his inspirational wife along with him as they sail around the world. But can first officer Richardson and his band of loyal crewmates hide her descent into alcoholism? And will the Captain ever be readmitted into the Navy?

The Cambridge Amateur Musicals Society are rehearsing for their musical production of Three Sisters, but Samantha dreams of moving to New York and seeing her name in lights on Broadway.

Leo and Marv have shore leave and are at the Pink Pussycat Club to forget the two girls who broke their hearts in Arkansas. When they all meet, sparks fly and it seems that Leo has forgotten all about Marlene when he falls for embittered burlesque dancer, Susu McSu, and Billy Sue seems to be over Marv as she agrees to marry club owner Lonesome Petrovsky.

But Leo soon finds out that Marlene has a new man in her life, and he looks the spitting image of Leo, just a little bit smaller…. When Professor Morrison dies, his daughter Mary thinks she can finally marry his assistant Arthur. But the professor has stiuplated that if she marries she will be disinherited. In love with both men, who will she choose? After all a cat in a box is both dead and alive until the box is opened…. Marcel must save her from the guilllotine, but with Monique admitting to the murder, he must choose between his sister and his love.

But what of Pierre? Acclaimed American artist Gregory Espadrille and his wife and muse, Mary, have gone to the Happy Valley Nudist Camp where they meet uptight British couple Gordon and Vanessa who challenge their commitment to an open relationship.

As the couples swap and experiment, Gaia Unclenched is unveiled to the world, but at what cost and with what critical response? On the SS Party, Cynthia the cleaner just wants to be noticed, while Deidre the singer just wants to be invisible. When a recently bereaved millionaire arrives on board, it seems that everyone might get their wish, but will the mystical island of Amazingazonia put a spanner in the works?

At the Arizona Space Museum, Danny is quite taken with Jane, but the incident in the Planetarium with her sister Bridget is keeping them apart. In the Lost and Found, Intelligentsia and The Professor try to keep the peace, but when Bridget turns up, sisterly competition leads to tragedy.

As the Professor takes his opportunity to try out his robotic science, Danny must choose between the two sisters, and one of them will become a real star….

When she meets angels Gordon and Mary they come up with a plan to make Derek fall for her, but Hell proves too much of a temptation. Will devils rise or will angels fall? Michael and Sally have been married for 12 years, happily running the fish and chip shop on Brighton pier. But the arrival of a pyramid from the British Museum, and with it Jeremy, threatens their happy existence. New York City in , Jerry and Mr Barnavelt run a pole dancing studio which is ridding the 26th state of Brooklyn of crime.

But as the pole dancing studio is threatened, he gets a chance to prove himself, and become more than just a statistic. Old passions are re-ignited, but at what cost? Leonard Moor has come back from London to the family home at Smothering Heights. Despite being warned by Gareth, his old friend and groundsman, about the women of the village wanting to get their claws into him, he throws a lavish party, which gets slightly out of hand.

Gang member Cristos is in love with pious God-fearing Juanita. It can only lead to bloodshed, and as the bodies pile up, Cristos must choose between the real way and the Rio way. Cynthia Forkspender and Eliot Brian Futtock have been talking on the phone, but when her parents find out they demand that the pair of them marry.

Cynthia has to forgo her university place and Brian has to give up his dreams of a life on the stage. But the Forkspenders are desperate for a scandal and plant a honey trap for Brian. He falls in and loses Cynthia.

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Determined to prove her innocence he unwittingly places her in danger when he steals a boat and crews it with her brother and psychotic ex-boyfriend. Love is like a crow. Four explorers go in search of the lost Glamazon tribe, and their missing mentor Old Man Parker. Will they escape the clutches of the tall dainty footed tribe in time to find love? As Jeffery is exiled the truth behind the Civil War emerges and the Maypole is threatened.

When she falls in love with Richard, his emotions are uncaged and the alpha male emerges. But PGP and Calendula hanker for the days of fine whiskey and debauchery. So, with the help of the Deputy Sheriff, they lure Jessie May back to her old ways; after all once a lush, always a lush.

Michael and Lemia are in Hell for crimes of passion. Mr Mephistopheles offers them a reprieve if they prevent Clare and Paul from making the same mistake. But by stopping them killing addled war veteran George, Michael and Lemia find themselves back where they started.

Only God can save them now. Ted and Lucy work for a New York insurance company under squash addict Peter. Their dreams of getting a great apartment and having a family lead Ted to sell an overpriced, dodgy health insurance package to elderly Myrtle. When she dies, he is guilt ridden, but her potty mouth gives him the perfect get-out clause. But at what personal cost?

In a service station on junction 7 of the M6, Chloe and Penny run a Welcome Break, frequented by Eddie and Jessop, who go out of their way to see them. But so welcoming are the girls, they are fired.

Will their new venture in Dover be a success? And what of Barry and the cats? The true story of how Stonehenge was moved from Glastonbury to Salisbury Plain. When Calista is chosen to marry tribal leader Fortis, her betrothed Cadoc is as angry as the gods themselves.

Stags, beavers, and the salute of the sun — but what will the rules of their new society be? But what of her love for Dai, the Distance Man? Everyone in the club tries to save him, with the help of some leftover tricks from Spandex the Brave. Thomas Silverhammer, the tallest of the dwarves, knows something happened to his father and goes to the forbidden mine in search of the truth. But the truth is not what he expected and may mean that he has to become a Gravelgrinder…. Zeus leaves Mount Olympus to his sons Castor the warrior and Liam the poet, with the instruction not to dally in human affairs.

At a Detroit carwash, Jim gets lucky with rich and classy Lady Charlene. But her giant husband, Mr Charlene, is enraged and punishes everyone by closing the carwash.

Will Marv and Trish escape adult entertainment in time to turn things around? And can Lady Charlene prove to Mr Charlene that his unhappiness is nothing to do with her? In an enchanted forest during the Irish famine, Seamus and Mary must call upon the spirits of the tree to travel through time to But who was born under a harvest moon and how many times can a man be turned down? At an asylum for shell-shocked WWI soldiers and nurses, Patient 13, Madeleine, is being treated by Dr Wilkinson to get over the loss of her brother Henry.

Should she, or by seeing him in her mind, will she once again see him in life? When Joseph finds out, he gets his revenge. Mrs Miniver runs the sweet shop at Dragon Castle, but is called upon to confront the great old dragon itself — as the wizards of the castle vie for power. A mutiny occurs on an Irish cruise ship, where all plans are made on the basketball court. Will love save the day, or will they all be sunk? The fractious Button sisters run a Guernsey dairy farm but have to decide whether to resist the pressures of modernisation.

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On the pirate oil rig The Mary-Lou, the crew will face all dangers but will not accept a woman on board. Three dead jazz-obsessed sisters haunt their old home, soon to be inhabited by their father Lafayette and Daniel, his solicitor. Can their love transcend the ectoplasmic intervention on the astral plane or will the vengeful Cooly-bean get revenge on the man who murdered them all? When his DNA experiments to make dinosaurs peaceful towards humans fail, Montana and the other park inhabitants are left in terrible danger.

The prince of Bumbleland really wants to travel beyond, but his father warns him that out there lurk wasps. The King must choose between giving the wasps all the honey in Bumbleland or losing his only son forever.

But when the wasps come to Bumbleland to collect their ransom, secrets are revealed that explain why the Wasp Warlock is so angry and why the prince is the only bee who can sting more than once…. But after an ill-placed firework in Pudding Lane things look bad for London — the only escape is a topiary maze. As they float through space, taking a frozen Vladimir Putin and Barack Obama in the SSS Ulysses, leaving behind the broken planet Earth to find new life elsewhere, his torrid affair threatens the safety of the ship.

Hruthgar has been chosen to be the new King of Glass-gow, but he must choose a Queen to spend his year with before he is sent out to sea on a burning boat. A year in power and the village is ruined, his wife is dead, and he stands on a boat, ready to be burnt. But the hammer of Thor and the rock in the sea come into play — will Hruthgar and Kandar burn brightly at last?

With Ethel getting drunk with her make-up artist and Tornado taking advice from his dojo master, Tempest of the Storm, it seems that their budding romance is doomed. But if the authoritarian commissioner Camille can find love with Yung Tao, surely anyone can…. But when the Baron turns it into a abattoir in a strange attempt to impress Francoise, old rivalries and memories of collaboration during WWII are stirred up.

But can the love of Francoise and Pierre convince him to plant grapes once more? Griselda and David, and their three offspring, have gone to the Latitude Festival, despite their crumbling marriage. Three Australians are waiting to see their hero, Adam Ant. Melinda has a thing for older men and after a chance meeting with David in the poetry forest accompanied by a strange performance poet, it seems love is blossoming.

After all, ridicule is nothing to be scared of. Colditz, and the Captain and Daphne have been interned for 4 years. But with the help of the slightly loony Spotty, Browning and an arrogant American with a Harley Davidson made out of loo rolls, they escape to Holland.

But Spotty, pining for home, has turned traitor and sold them out to the Germans. Spotty sacrifices herself, but too late and they all end up back in Colditz. But can their spirit be broken, or will they make one last bid for freedom, and a cockney knees up back in the good old East End? There were bound to be sparks when Dr Cartwright who loves science and Midwife Fortesque who loves nature met.

In trying to help the Willises finally have a child after 7 years of waiting, scientific advances compete with nature and the strength of the mother-child bond. But love and hate are separated by a thin line, and the sparks soon become sparks of romance…. But local twins Nkela and Bobo have been sent into the crater by Mama in order for Nkela to become a woman and goddess. But The Red Box is a strange club, where good girls do bad things.

Claire finds love, but will she stop mothering her sisters for long enough to realise? And will Arabella agree to date with the mysterious owner of The Red Box? Two sisters, one good and kind, the other headstrong and wild, live on the slopes of Mount Vesuvius with their father, who must marry them off in order to keep his farm in the wake of an eruption. But Cirius the gladiator has been blinded, so Cassiopeia must marry the poet Demetrius while headstrong Mathilde must pretend to be her sister and marry Cirius, despite her love for Valerian the Gothic Warrior.

In order to stop the wedding, Cirius rides Tarquin the horse up the mountainside, but will he return in time to stop the sham wedding or will he lose his love forever?

But when she reaches the top with her faithful friend Matthew and their guide Tunsten, she not only discovers that she has been followed by borderline-agraphobic Bobby and his sister, but that the gods demand a sacrifice from her.

When she decides to give up her ambition and stay with Bobby, the gods are appeased. And what will the seagulls have to say about it? An epic tale set in Valhalla and the pages of a story book, with god Eric the Bloody Handed, his mortal lover and their son.

And a forgetful Valkyrie. Mr Rochester runs for mayor following the disappearance of the last mayor — but when he turns up — undead — and bites Sally — there seems to be a zombie apocalypse in the offing. But with the help of gobstoppers and two hats, Mr Rochester might just be able to remind the zombies of when they were alive…. Mr Faversham has just bought Swindon Zoo. Arabella Ryvita has invented a great new cheese at the Windlesham Cheese Factory and named it after her short, nice, handsome love William.

Thanks to help from Death Row exchange inmates from Alabama, he escapes from prison, but will he be able to convince everyone that the new cheese can do more than just be spread on Ryvita? And will Arabella choose love over cheese, or like her mother before her choose cheese before love? But Lord Amon is also the keeper of the temple of Osiris and needs a sacrifice. Lord Barry has moved to Barry Island and is determined to marry a local girl.

Both Sally and Mr Jones will do anything to save Barry, even if it means giving up on their secret love. But Gordon still speaks of the old ways, and Mr Jones can still use the old magic. And what is love if not the oldest magic in the world? But her win drives him back to England, and her into the arms of Ushka, her guitarist who only plays on backing tracks.

Josephine, the first female trainer, and her jockey Braithwaite, have made Red Rum the most successful horse in the country. But her desire to be the best drives Braithwaite to an untimely chariot related death.

The Jockey Club and her lover Simpson reject her, so she rides Red Rum off into the sunset, but will they stop at the white cliffs of Dover, or just keep going? Guru Guru Murshu and his tee-total acolytes Marsha and Gloria certainly like it until Michael spikes the drinks, and the club implodes. And will she be able to convince everyone that good news is better than bad? But a chance meeting between old Army colleagues Johnson, Carter and Corporal Cleverfield changes everything. Millie joins the Salvation Army, Jemima begins to wear make-up, but who will fall for who at the great tambourine giveaway?

All is lost, retirement in Brighton looks likely, but at the last minute can the cast pull together a show that would garner a 6 star review? Peter really needs to grow up if he is to save his job and get his girl — but is cross-dressing really the way to go about it?

Demoted to janitor, he watches as the Levtiation Team takes to the skies. Outside the village in the hollowed out tree, werewolves are readying for attack. Love between a human and a werwolf could bring two sides together, but who is a the werewolf and who is the human?

After all, birds of a feather flock together and love cannot be denied…. Tony Toadstool and Marcy Potter live in colourful Rainbowland, years old today, and must marry in order to keep colour and order.

Who will win the Fosse fight, and will Sparky the dragon be needed to light candles of celebration? Caecilia, an olive picker in Ancient Rome, meets Caesar and they fall in love. But the barbarians are gathering at the gates…. Johnson loves speed and is building the fastest steam train in Borrowdale in But his ex-wife, Kate Angel, is building a school just around the bend of the track for all of the poor children. But when she loses 20 years of her memory, he must follow in her footsteps and travel to Tierra del Fuego to discover love.

Because when you get to the bottom of the world, you come to the top again. Paul is a layer-outer of bodies in Blackheath, but provides Dr Doctor and Prof Johnson with cadavers.

When they demand a live body, he gives them the woman he loves, Sally, but will Hyacinth and Crocus make him smell the pansies in time to save her life? Two American opera singers arrive in the Opera House in Manaus, determined to stop the destruction of the rainforests. But the indigenous people have their own ideas for saving the trees, by worshipping and listening to the piranhas.

Will Tally and Roger meet their toothy fate, or is there a different kind of fish food? Demon Dante wants to tempt his th mortal but when the artist he is trying to persuade to kill his wife, kills himself instead, Dante is set on a quest of self-discovery, forgiveness and redemption.

But his pursuit of fame ruins his burgeoning romance with the quiet Lady Susan. In the pyramids, the tomb of Akh-Akh is uncovered. A Nandos restaurant in Nottingham gets a makeover when famous chef LaRoux arrives looking for a challenge. But when he wins the admiration of the beautiful young chicken chef, the senior chicken chef gets jealous. A travelling circus in depression-era America hook up with a revivalist church after its leader, reverend Justin Bieber is sat on by the anorexic elephant Nellie.

Two washed up Vegas performers incur the wrath of their mafia-linked boss when they set up in competition to his casino. When their boyfriends find out, will they have the guts to face up to the mob or will they pussy-foot away? If an American producer created a West Side Story-style musical about the coalition, this would be almost but not entirely unlike the result. In the end, all the secrets in the world are released…. Giselle runs away from her religious family to join the theatre working in the London Dungeon.

Her father, the vicar, desperately tries to get her back, but is beating her and imprisoning her the right way to go about it? Or can he learn something from her theatrical family? All the staff at a snowbound terminal 15 in Heathrow Airport volunteer to take the Shah of Persia back home. But on the way they crash in Antarctica, where they must face the three terrors — polar bears, glaciers and icebergs.

But love can be found in the strangest of places…. General Vesuvius is in love with Goth Penope, but their love is forbidden, and Flavia just wants to go back to Rome. Penope dies and so Vesuvius must choose — go back to Flavia and Rome, or stay and fight the barbarians at the gates of Bath. Sand by Me — Sheherazade has fallen helplessly in love with Tariq, a lowly camel trader, but Prince Farouk has in turn taken a shine to her. An ancient Arabian tale of love, redemption and camel jousting.

But will her straight-laced father put a stop to it all? Captain Pilling, commanding officer of the Submarine Tranquility, is beset by both strategic and emotional difficulties. Can he release his trapped vessel? And can he rescue his drowning son in the nick of time, or will the sea zombies keep him below to help sing Bugsy Malone numbers? But when King Rudolph and Queen Sophie appear in the neighbourhood, her life is thrown into disarray. Celebrity dentists always fall for the perfect million dollar smile.

And with new drug metrocain, everyone can have one — but at what cost? A scary tale of love and lycanthropy. Rico loves Chica, but Chica must marry Tony to save her family from poverty and pigsties. A sinister abatoir in Bethnal Green where all the men are going missing. For all men are like animals. A cruise ship sails towards The Port of Prance, where people are safe. But once they leave, will they return to their old ways of wife-beating and revenge?

Philomena Smith and Andromeda Dench are two grand old dames of the theatre, vying for the same role in The Grapes of Froth, directed by none other than Dave Dixon — ex husband of both of them.

At the laundry there are strange lights in the sky. What do the aliens really want and can human love teach them anything? December and in the Lewisham maternity hospital, professional rivalry becomes personal as Drs Smith and Snow fall for midwife Sonia. Who will she choose? On the slopes of Popacatapetl, two scientists are warned about the sirens of the volcano.

As the siren song becomes stronger, cracks appear in their relationships with their wives, and cracks also appear in the mountain. As the lava flows, will love save the day? Everyone has a motive. Who is the man in the red hat? Will the satellite link up work? Can Susan Blush convince everyone that she is the best actress in the world? Will they survive the lion with the mouth of a cat, the headed hydrant, and the multi-faceted kaleidoscope of doom?

Expect hot air balloons and wise jugglers. Hansel is the finest Swedish chocolatier but his love for Brumi causes jealous Sven to have him banished. Will he grow a pair and climb over the wall to reclaim his factory and his love? And will Mathilde ever get to stand less than 5 yards away from Sven? Timmy loves Elsie, but will the ghosts of his brothers get in the way?

And will he be able to put his war demons to rest in order to be happy? But who is the Knife Bastard, and why is he killing? And why is he killing decimally? Will Rob save Ruthie, or will the acetate prove fatal? And who exactly IS the bad guy? Old Vic, 29th October. Can you have too much pie? And will their rivalry destroy the very thing they love? Cleanliness is next to godliness. The fountain of youth cannot be used selfishly or the drinker will die.

In a deep, dark forest on the Isle of Wight, sprites and fairies try to retain their world, but the humans on holiday there threaten their existence. Or is their forbidden love actually the salvation of a destroyed heaven and a Johnny Cash style God?

Will Chief Engineer Tanqueray be able to fix the broken bacardi, and her broken heart, in time to save the crew? How do you know if Dogfight is really a doctor, when he could be a convicted felon? And is Cybergirl really a girl? Two couples travel to the Grand Canyon in a bid to save their faltering relationships.

But will they survive a capsized raft, and multiple infidelity? Pedrov and his girlfriend work happily together until he is promoted and she must move to evil IKEA.

Why is her sister Mordor so intent on ruining her life, and will Pedrov ever get to run the hotel of his dreams? Bowness on Windermere, 16th October. Abel the miller loves Margaret, who sells apples in punnets of varying sizes, but she fancies butch farmers and falls for tractor inventor Johnson.

Can Abel, with the help of twin brother Cain and his dog, finally get the gift of the gab and grab the girl? Bath Komedia, 14th October. Can volcanic cooking in Iceland and the love of a good, if tactless woman save the day? Is fine dining the real victim? And will Charles ever be persuaded to return? Mistakes are bound to happen. Families are torn apart, and lovers are separated.

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