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Very interesting indeed…Why men start cheating in Jakarta? A guy will not cheat everywhere on earth but only if he encounters beautiful girls as Indonesian are. I am sorry but go I lived 10 years in London and girls are fat and ugly, I would never have compromised my marriage to fuck a fattie.

Whereas in Jakarta I must say that girls are very hot and temptation is everywhere. I have to agree with the previous comment. There is something special about Jakarta that makes many guys lose their values and moral standards.

Jakarta is an evil town! As the writer of the article said, there are also lots of opportunities in cities like Sydney or London, and no, most of the girls there are not fatties! They are damn hot and desirable. The expats have big salaries and power, so I think they could get these girls if they wanted too.

Maybe it would be harder but that doesn't explain everything. And if they aren't attractive anyway, there are prostitutes too in these countries. So why sleep with a prostitute in Jakarta and not in Australia or Europe? I'm not saying there are cheaters only in Indonesia, but we have to admit it is a much bigger issue in Jakarta than elsewhere, and it has lots of explanations.

Temptation overflows in Jakarta, indeed. However, I must say that some men will stray if they are weak at heart. I believe that men with strong priniples and moral beliefs will think twice before pouncing on the next hottie or giving into the lust and allure from a beautiful Indonesian girl.

This all sounds cliche but I have seen my married male collegues treated as kings in bars and clubs in Jakarta. Some of them have exchanged numbers with the girls shame on them and some of them have enjoyed flirt inflicted conversations.

I'm not sure if the wives know of their hubby's whereabouts during their absence, but I can say one thing for sure. If I were married I wouldn't feel so comfy having my hubby in these places even with a strong marriage. Some of the girls can be quite agressive and stunning! So hard to resist. Bascially, you have to think with your head.. Same question as why there's so many girls went to the west to be with their new hubby and starts cheating.

LOL I guess the temptation of among other culture and whites as the white among asian girl is strongly have anything to do with it. Indonesian girl can't be generalized as a gold digger or prostitutes. This type of woman is exist all over the world! Asia or especially Indonesian became the center of attention in this matter because they are open, warm and friendly.

They just right passed you on the street and could give you a big smile. Western girls, please, unless you smell like money and your face is in Rolex ads, nobody will notice you. Mostly they are cold, bitter and sorry, with very bad skin quality. You think, who doesn't want Asian girls??? So, unless you are shallow, insecure and your horizon is only between your country and Asia, man, seriously, you will respect Asian girls for being who they are.

Nonetheless, faith is a faith, cheat is a cheat. No reason, under any extreme circumstances people hurt their life partner heart. Your own shadow is always the best place to hide CC is explain all loud I'm working in a company where we change expats incharge for about each years. Well, one of them 'pass' the test, but I just found out that he's actually gay And I heard, even now the rumors get to the wifes, so if any husband is about to be assigned to jkt, wifes shud be 'prepare' to able 'let-husband-go wild' for atleast 3years of their marriage life!

I personally think that its not just Jakarta- I study in Philippines, and boy its not much different here. It is actually safer for girls here than it is for boys.

It doesn't take long for any foreigner to have a Filipino-girlfriend here. Anyway, I personally think it is mostly because Filipino women look at foreigners and see money. They see how their life can be changed.

Moreover, it probably also depends on the men in these countries. Temptation might be all around us, but a man who is morally sound, and has values will not cheat on their life partner love or no love and a woman who finds out that their man has cheated on them deserves better. It was then when a beautiful woman came next to me saying: So I also was about to leave,when I met here at the exit again. We spent 3 days together,I fell in love with her because of her personality and,of course she was good looking ,but she really was somebody I would have liked to start a relationship whith.

Finally it turned out that she was hopelessly in love with a french guy whom,I think, will never join her-why else would somebody prefer to be in Bali,if there was a lovely,intelligent and independent woman waiting for him? So,she left me,I gave her my number anyway,not asking for her number which is another story Me,who loves lonely unspoiled places Power to you CC!!

Really man, life is not just about sex and money - I believe there's something more to it ;. If you have the looks and especially for Indonesian girls very important the height you will have shitloads of hot, sexy indo girls chasing you, NOT for your money.

On the other hand if you are short and not handsome you should not expect that Indonesian girls will even look at you. Wow, this is a hot topic. I am quite sure many expats whom worked and lived in indo have at least one "experience" with indo girls. Maybe this expat need to know that many of their wives has also cheated on them. These expat wives will also have access to gym, socialising and also hv sex with local dudes.

At one time, I saw my friend's wive in a hotel with indo man and they are quite intimate. So it was a matter of time when the wives will realize that they can too having sex around with indo guy.

Especially, when they have the luxury of time to spend around without the hubby. So think about it, if you found ur wive humping other guy in bed then u shouldn't be upset.

If you're married and your relation is not so strong enough and you let your husband go to bars or night clubs alone quite often, of course he could see the "beautifuls views".

I agree that Indonesian women who come to the clubs try to make them look so pretty, it's very natural for the women. Try to look out of the bars or night clubs, there are many of Indonesian women who are not interested to have a relationship with "bule", because of too many differences cultures, religion etc and they prefer to choose "the local one".

I lived in Paris for 5 years and I can tell there are not a few men who cheat on their wifes, not all of them likes to go the bars or night clubs but it happened. And if some people think that the level of "prostitution" in Jkt is quite high, don't forget that Jakarta is quite a big city also and the population is more than London, Tokyo or Paris. I believe many Indonesian girls are not attracted to expats.

I see the one that most Expats get is social climbers. I think they are ugly. They are more flirty and aggressive towards expat, willing to trade sex to improve their life style.

I can see why expats is likely to cheat in Jakarta because they are lonely, go to bars and meet these social climbers girls who is young and aggresive. Most Indonesian girl don't choose bars as hang out place. To see beautiful indonesian girl you should go to pals senayan and plaza Indonesia. These girls have money and don't need to seduce expats to improve life style.

You seldom see them walking with expats mostly they are with locals. It is very sad that these social climber and gold digger Girls has become the faces of Indonesian girls for expats. Fact Of most Indonesian girls 1. Mostly bars and clubs are not their favorite place of choice 2. They are much more beautiful then what expat think beauty is, because they like to go to body treatment , cream bath, lulur and salon.

Without provocative sexy n luring dress and make up, they are a natural beauty. They make sure not to be sexually exploited. If they decided to sleep with you either because you are decent human being whom she comfortable with 4.

They don't screw around with other women's men. It is their code of ethict. They rather walk away then jeopardize someone established relationship.

They like to hang out with group of closed circle. They dine and lounge together. They don't like to go alone and meet random stranger guy. That is the truly faces of Indonesian girl, which sadly expat seldom find. Indonesian guys are lucky because expats seldom breaks enter this closed circle. Ive been there in Jakarta for 3days. Ive went to all the clubs like Stadium like Zouk ,Club36 but nothing compere to Alexis in my perspective. You got to pay about 4 million Rupiah to bring out the girl back to your hotel.

Its up to you to choose which nite club to go.


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Vengeance and Hong Sang-soo's Turning Gate. Korean 78, Imported Total attendance: They are listed in the order of their release. My Beautiful Girl, Mari It's been a long time since Korean animation has occupied a major position within the industry. In the s, local animated films mostly broadcast on TV attracted viewers with creative images and stories, but in the decades since, Korea has produced little animation outside of outsourcing work for foreign studios much of The Simpsons was drawn in Korea, for example.

In recent years, several new production companies have made an effort to revive the industry and utilize local drawing talent for homegrown films. Although several high-profile works are on the way, My Beautiful Girl, Mari is the first major animated film in years to try to forge a new image for the industry. Mari tells the story of a boy named Namoo who lives in a seaside village.

Several years after the death of his father, Namoo finds himself faced with further struggles: Struggling with the prospect of further loss, Namoo begins to lose himself in fantasy, dreaming of a mysterious girl named Mari who leads him to another world. This film's director, Lee Sung-gang , is a rising talent who had drawn notice previously for his animated shorts, which played at many overseas festivals. The images he creates for My Beautiful Girl, Mari were made on the computer with fairly simple tools, such as Flash and Illustrator.

Nonetheless the end result is dazzling: The voices for the film were recorded by real children a refreshing change from the practice of having adults speak in high pitch , as well as some famous actors: Although this film was not a success at the box-office, it represents both a major step forward for Korean animation and the birth of a wondrous film that deserves not to be overlooked.

Apart from its remarkable imagery, the film also proves to be a touching portrait of how children deal with loss. With luck, someday we may look back upon this film as a first step in the rebirth of Korean animation. Once a successful comedy director, Shin Seung-soo 's latest works haven't attracted audiences, often silently lurking at the bottom of the year's box office.

His latest 'girls with guns' effort seems no different. It offers nothing we haven't seen before, and no bankable stars - at least not yet, both Lee Yo-won and Kim Min-sun could become stars in the future.

But despite its derivative plot, A. The cocktail of attractive young girls, loud rock music, a few action scenes, and the usual amount of silly comedy has made many films a success, but it's probably what makes A. It tries so hard to be cool, slick and funny that it forgets to take care of the fundamentals, like a script that flows well, or engaging characters.

The film follows the adventures of four girls, who meet by accident and become a runaway team of idols the film's title means "Adoring Four Revolutionary Idols Korean Association", named after the girls' Internet Fan Club. Through robbing gas stations, stealing cars, dealing with the people following them -- a cop and a gangster, driving together!

One of the film's good ideas is showcasing, with the use of pop culture references, how the girls achieve their fame. Thanks to TV and the Internet they become so famous that fake A. The characters are little more than stereotypes.

Rising star Lee Yo-won is the classic charismatic leader with an edge; Kim Min-sun the sexy, shallow 'babe' who raises a fuss over clothes and hair. Cho Eun-ji is the annoying, ugly duckling who we're supposed to care about, and Lee Young-jin the tough girl who often acts superior.

The film does a good enough job of making this obvious, so that we take nothing seriously. But, that's a double edged sword, because at the end you don't really care about the characters.

Better is the supporting cast who really carries the film. Lee Je-rak, Park Young-kyu and company frequently steal the show from the four girls, creating a few memorable moments. With all its flaws, A. Not all the jokes work, sometimes the girls overact a little too much, but the overall tone of the film makes you forget about such things pretty quickly. If you're looking for a night of low-maintenance fun, without strings attached, you'll probably enjoy the antics showcased in A.

Smitten by her beauty, he goes and sits next to her, but she glares at him in disgust and walks away. Following behind, he kisses her violently out of the blue, but a group of passing soldiers subdue him. The girl spits in his face. Offended, yet still drawn to her, he starts to devise a sinister plan: Bad boy director Kim Ki-duk has been eagerly sought after by international film festivals ever since his third movie Birdcage Inn His films can be relied on to provide striking visuals and plenty of controversy.

His work has become quite popular with audiences in Europe. Up until recently, however, he remained more or less unknown to Korean moviegoers, with none of his films registering more than a blip at the local box-office. This changed with Bad Guy. Several factors may have contributed to local audiences' strong interest in the film.

To begin with, it was released just as lead actor Jo Je-hyun was winning over fans in the hit TV drama Piano. Kim had also slowly gained a reputation as "that director who's popular abroad", and audiences' curiosity, together with a marketing campaign centered around the film's provocative themes, turned Bad Guy into a commercial success. Few viewers are likely to leave the theater without strong feelings for or against this film. It features striking images and music, disturbing violence, strong acting, logic-defying plot developments, and a provocative epilogue that seems intended to stir up controversy.

The film makes perhaps the most sense if you read it as a collision between the lower and middle classes. Kim himself is the product of a difficult upbringing that has left him feeling outraged at the inequities in Korean society. From a psychological perspective, the plot seems a major stretch, at least from the female character's point of view. Kim says he wanted to show the "inevitability" of the film's final outcome, but the change that our female lead undergoes seems calculated, and more the product of male fantasy than a response to all she has experienced.

No matter, some viewers will argue -- but I still feel this film could have been stronger if it could have got more convincingly into the head of our inexperienced young prostitute. The man himself has become the most important figure in Korean Cinema. His production company, Cinema Service, is the top distributor in the country. After a three year-long hiatus, director Kang has come back with Public Enemy , marketed strongly around the Two Cops director's new 'hardboiled' streak.

And indeed he has changed. But, in contrast with his previous works, it's grittier and much bloodier. Detective Kang Chul-joong Sol Kyung-gu is the complete antihero, stealing drugs from dealers, taking bribes left and right, neglecting his duties as a father, and dealing with suspects without the chore of following procedure.

Cho Gyu-hwan Lee Sung-jae is the perfect case of split personality. When we first meet him, he's masturbating under the shower throwing profanities at his imaginary companion. Suddenly, out of the shower he's a normal family man, caring and considerate. The two get to know each other in the strangest of ways: He stabs him too, and will force Detective Kang to change his habitual ways to catch him. And maybe change his life in the process. In Public Enemy there are no conventionally sympathetic characters: While Sol Kyung-gu and Lee Sung-jae battle each other through the course of the film, the usual array of memorable supporting characters tones down the harshness of the film.

Math, to stage actor Kang Shil-in as the captain of the Homicide department. From Sung Ji-roo a staple of Korean comedies as the green-haired drug dealer, to Yoo Hae-jin as the retired Jopok who now acts as Chul-joong's 'knife expert.

And, personally, it doesn't feel forced like in many of Kang's previous films. This mix of bloody action and comedy will not appeal to everybody. Both the murders and the jokes are pretty graphic in their depiction, and the lack of sympathetic characters might leave people used to director Kang's directorial style a bit puzzled. Still, Public Enemy is excellently produced, with a fantastic performance from Sol Kyung-gu who gained 20 Kg for the role, and subsequently lost them again for Oasis.

That's dedication , and really good chemistry between the two main characters. Also, unlike many of Kang's films, it doesn't overstay its welcome, even for a minute film. Kang Woo-suk has made a darker, funnier and smarter film, one of the year's biggest surprises. Well, pretty much a complete mess. Looking For Bruce Lee stars the four young men of said band and the city they call home, Seoul. However, while most young people must sit passively and watch the city they know and love fail to be represented on the screen as they know it and love it, resolved to voice their protest by throwing popcorn, or this being South Korea, dried squid , at the screen, director Kang Lone and the boys of Crying Nut have decided to Help themselves in this Quadrophonic teenage wasteland of Hey, Hey We're The Punkees.

What there is of a plot revolves around a serial killer who leaves Bruce Lee imagery placed all artsy-like beside the victims' bodies. The band's bassist, Han Kyung-rok, takes it upon himself to solve these murders. These interviews allow for something to salvage from this wreckage. One of the immigrants interviewed, whom I'm guessing is Eritrean or Ethiopian, represents one of the core themes with this comment made in English: So from this thing, I can feel that American culture is dominating Korea.

And Bruce Lee resisted calls to assimilate to the American culture he heard around him. Perhaps, this resistance to American pop culture is why Han's looking for Bruce Lee, to find his own way of appropriating cultural artforms that came to his home from elsewhere.

Such resistance resonates in Looking For Bruce Lee in the piercing scream of the young Korean woman who finds her fun interrupted by an American who imposes himself on her. Kyung-rok, upon hearing the scream, jumps in to address the situation. His bruises in the next scene tell us a fight occurred, hinting at his resistance to being defined fully by another culture. For all its disjointedness, Looking For Bruce Lee does challenge the view that all pop cultural expressions are examples of mimic-ing American culture.

These kids aren't just appropriating straight from American culture, as the interviews with all the immigrants mentioned before demonstrate.

We're following a Punk band here. Punk music itself represents a multiplicity of cultural influences. Punk came out of Rock music, a genre developed in America with heavy initial influence from other genres such as Blues which were nourished by African-American communities. And just as recent American Rock bands have borrowed from Hip-Hop, British Punk appropriated heavily from Ska, as Crying Nut demonstrates in the track that opens the film.

Ska is a musical genre that came to England from Jamaica. So it's not as simple as saying American culture is taking over South Korea. It's more than just America that's influencing Korean youths. And Korean youths are not just buying what America is selling. Like all involved in the Korean movie industry, they are bringing their own flavor to the smorgasboard of genres.

Culture, like its brethren Language, morphs with the local and the global simultaneously. Crying Nut just wants to tell their story through the multiple media available to them. And, regardless of how incoherent it is at times, their story is one of the multiple stories of an ever mutating Seoul. It is the inclusion of the snippets of stories of so many different immigrants in South Korea that most impresses me about the film.

Although we've seen immigrant characters portrayed in such films as Failan and Take Care of My Cat , we've never seen so many presented in any Korean film before nor have they been allowed to speak for themselves. Although some of the interviews appear to be staged soliloquies, others appear to be very sincere. All this talk of women keeping legs closed is given men a pass in being so horny that they got to lie and meniuplate women to get sex. My question is, why does he bother to text me at all?

I wish you all the best. You know it only takes once…. I had a man just do the same thing to me. I am still hurting over it its been 6 weeks now. These men are hurting nice girls they should pick up a girl on the street or go to a bar….

I am in desperate need of advice. I am divorced for three years. And I just started to date recently. I met someone online and we went on three really fun dates. The 4th date was a lot of fun as well.

I cooked this man dinner and he stayed over my house. He has been a gentleman, complementary, opens the car door for me when were out an all-around nice guy. Neither one of us are dating other people.

So after our fourth date he has gotten very distant. I have done so much reading prior to me even dating this man that I know that pulling away is an uncommon.

I said happy Valentines Day to him, and he texted back ,same to you!!! We both have very full lives we both have children. So finally after three weeks of this going on with him being distant I sent him a text. He texted back and said he has a lot going on. I do notunderstand what happened to us. I can honestly say that I am devastated. The feeling of rejection is so painful especially of her going through a divorce. So, how do I take it from here?

Any advice mean the world to me. Keep yourself in check. What part of the responsibility? The part that you have control over: Oh, and that reminds me of the first thing I said: Why would I write about anything else if my interest is to help women get great results?

This website is for women who want to have great relationships with men. This things mean something. Hi, I find your website really useful and helping me understand love and relationship better.

I have a boyfriend for nearly 3 years now. I showed my emotions again. The next day I calmed down and asked him for a talk. When we talked I asked questions like if he would be back with his ex. He also said nothing can break their friendship apart and said this is something I have to live with it. He wanted to take a break to think through things as he said he is confused and asked me not to ask him any questions.

Or he still likes his ex? I have the urge to contact him and I am not sure if I should during this take a break period? What do you see from this whole situation and what do you advice me to do? He texted me before for his hometown and texted when he landed. I have been dating a guy for 2 years and 4 months. What does it mean?

I completely agree with what you are saying. Sometimes it feels like once we give it up to them, we lose any and all control and have to wait and see if they text or call us.. And to be honest with you, at some point they probably will because they still want something from us. But the signs are not always clear or we always hold out hope: I recently have been hanging out with a guy who has been trying to hook up with me.

I finally kissed him and did some other things no sex and we barely talk anymore.. Sometimes men are just jerks. I met a guy. He called, he texted, and seemed to really like me. When we went out, he was a perfect gentleman.

He opened the car and restaurant doors for me, he offered me his jacket when it got cold, he even held my hand as we walked. He told me all this stuff about how his goal was to make me laugh and how he wanted to be with me and every other sweet, yet very realistic, thing a man could say.

Then we had sex. Then the next day, nothing. So I casually reached out to him. For better or for worse, at least I got a decent lay and a few weeks of romance out of it. And they make it impossible sometimes to know what they really want.. I agree honesty is the best policy… You should at least have the balls to tell someone how you feel afterwards..

He totally gave you the impression that he liked you and then was a complete jerk.. I could so relate to this.. Men honestly make me sick. If you only want sex, get a prostitute or even better, jerk off. Why cant they have sexual morals? Why do they rape physically and emotionally? Because they can dear: D, there is no doubt in my mind xD, maybe you will even believe that we love you.

Read your comment… did you have any reason for posting that other than to pick a fight and spew your bitterness, anger and negative energy into this page? Cupcake, I must agree with what this author is saying regarding having negative viewpoints about men. You will only attract the shady ones, as healthy men can sense it and will run away. Have you ever heard of the confirmation bias? Have you ever challenged your beliefs? After all, the common denominator in all your relationships is you.

I was once in a very abusive relationship. The man I was with was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. He had strong, negative, beliefs about women. Despite being faithful and trying to love this man, he was too damaged inside to accept love from another person.

I quit school due to his extreme jealousy and constant accusations when I should have quit him. It took three years before I was strong enough to leave him, despite the repeated abuse… It was his negative beliefs about women that destroyed the relationship ultimately. After leaving him, I spent many months blaming him for everything that he did to me and feeling sorry for myself.

I learned how to quit repeating negative relationship patterns. Most importantly, I learned to love myself first. I have to say my guy has been upfront with me no strings attached. He knows I have feelings.

He is my best friend and I ended up and still am his rebound girl. I told him that I hate the feeling being used.

My heart is caught. I was in a 20 year marriage not even 40 yet was a teen mom and for the first time I fell in love. Your anger at whoever blew you off after you slept with them is showing. Far too many women place far, far too much focus on getting into a relationship with someone before they bother ever knowing who someone even is. The relationship is the state of your interactions between one another…and if that sucks, the problem lies with you.

YOU and only you are accountable for the quality of your relationships — the quality of your interactions with other people. Your relationship begins when you meet. She said they knew each other for awhile before they started dating and had been dating for a month. Thank you, Professor Des. This is not an undergraduate communications course.

Please tell me how can i admit her that my love is not for sex.. Make her feel comfortable. Be there for her when she needs you. Things like that really.. The guy I was interested in went M. A missing in action right after we had sex, and that was about 2 weeks ago. However, 2 days after we had sex I contacted him. Several days later, I decided to message him online. After that, he went cold. But I guess… It just sucks. He texted me last week. Also, trust your gut instinct, if you think he is trying to avoid you , then why would you want to be in a relationship with someone like that?

I have tried many times telling him that I cannot just get in the mood when he does nothing at all to try to get me in the mood. Has he lost complete interest in me?

Do I just not turn him on so I am just there for only him to have a piece of ass? Does he want to end our relationship and wants another girl? My boyfriend in the past has cheated on me and his other relationships as well. Can someone please give me some advise? He appears to be quite selfish and your question boils down to is it you or is it him? In actuality, in spite of your attempts to express your feelings to him he continues to ignore it. YOU cannot change him and nothing you say or do is going to change him.

Your choice is to stay with this guy and accept this is how he is, who he is, and enjoy a lacking in quality sex life, or break things off and raise your own bar. He clearly does not love you in any respect. There are over 7 billion people on this planet. Get your man tested before engaging. Get to know him and maybe use a condom if possible. You will not regret. Can anybody please tell me your thoughts on this because it really is frustrating me! I work in the same place with this extremely good looking guy he is 33 he has a son and I am 20 he is very sweet,nice, friendly,we laugh a lot, always makes eye contact when we talk and initiates the conversation with me,he never fails to stop by to talk to me even if its a for a little and he compliments me sometimes…later on he smiles while I talk to him and he grabs my chin really soft…he has always told me that he respects me so much and if he ever needed anything or even talk I could always go to him not to be scared he will always be there for me..

He told me he wanted to go to the beach at night just to walk together etc Well he then invited me to his house to watch movies and I said yes: He is not married also and he is not he type of guy to ell everyone what happened between us I can assure you that. I really miss him and want a relationship with him: I feel so stupid for having sex w him cause after that he changed…he still is very nice but thats it.. What exactly are you bringing to the table?

The last thing you are is clingy. I think Eric has not actually answered her question. I find it strange that a guy should withdraw after sex as it usually makes the couple feel closer. Withdrawal may be a psychological sign: I think when a guy acts in this manner, it means that there is something wrong in the relationship and therefore the girl should reconsider this relationship if she would like it to be more than a sexual relationship — it probably will not be. No woman should put up with this unless it is what she wants i doubt how many women really want or accept this behaviour.

Keep up the good work. Thank you so much to the both of you! She has stated that she has given him space, no texts no calls and emails etc. What about communicating with him that will make him change for both their sake in the relationship without acting needy. What does he mean by acting needy and desperate? This is what Eric needs to point out in his article. Every guy is different, could he be one of the minority of men who will change regardless of whether she contacts him?

All THEY have to do is make the relationship work without sex. He will have to change his behavior FOR her once she communicates what she wants. Do you think that by no calls, texts, e-mails etc. Men should also change and respect her wishes if he really really cares for her to withhold sex for awhile.

What if the woman in writing did everything in her power to make him stay, but he still withdraws? Telling women to stop being obsessive and needy is unfair. The only way women will dig their way out of our male centered society and is to not succumb to their power trips and so called advice that is meant to keep you in your place… do you what you want ladies!

The men are doing it with their hearts. Instead of their entire being body to. Guys know women are after their heart and women know Alot of guys are after their body, so that is why they both are doing that. How women often do it because guys gave used their body and threw away. But guys will do it with their heart before a woman has used it and threw away. Which leads me to believe Alot of men think they are can just have anything of a women and they can pick and choose what not to give bsck in return.

Because these games, this is why people need to just reserve sex for marriage. Because then if they mistreat u and use u, u can divorce them and they got to answer to the law about it. The reason his advice tells women what they are doing wrong is because his advice is for women. Most dating gurus take this approach. They can only change their own actions and do what may make a better outcome. People always wait for others to change when the only person they can change is themselves or their choices.

This is the approach I take when offering advice to both my male and female friends too. Luke, it cuts both ways. Im a woman and i like sex just as much as the guy so if im attracted to him and the passion is there we will probably have sex within the first 2 weeks of dating. If the chemistry is there we will connect in other ways as well. I feel hes not taking advantage of me or using me for sex because we are BOTH getting something we want.

People give sex way to much power. Its fun and feels good ladies…enjoy it! I really think the woman needs to have a clear understanding of what she is willing to tolerate after having sex with a guy. If him texting and calling on a regular basis is important to you then you should stop dealing with a guy who feels its not.

If i want to talk to you im calling you or texting. They like to feel wanted jus like we do but not stalked. Now if u call him and he never answers or responds thats what i call withdrawal its time to move on.

When he does something I dont like I just cut him off. We are not in an exclusive relationship but we like each other a lot I think we are just too much alike. When we r together whether its sex or just going out together it feels exclusive so thats all i need right now. There are certain lines he knows not to cross with me as do I with him because I have told him and he has told me. I like your attitude a lot. Thank you for teaching me.

Then I saw your post… Have you ever heard of a book called The Fall? You my dear vixen are self deceived. Oh I am agreeing with you, Anony. As a woman, you can love sex and have it as soon as you want and as much as you want and that is attractive in some sense because its freeing.. So when you go around acting like sex with you isnt a big deal and you can do it just as much and just like any man, then you become like a man to him.

And lets be honest, no man turns down some good sex. Does that make sense? A feminine creature values those intimate parts of herself and even though she I absolutely love being sensual and sexual and have a high sex drive, I dont forget about the fact that mens brains are wired differently.

Therefore my womans brain idea of being free with sex because its awesome and im evolved, etc, doesnt match up with his male brains wiring which says.. Keep in mind, sex for a woman bonds them chemically to a man and this does not happen on the mans side. His brain seeks quantity as a way to express freedom, which in turn releases different chemicals in his brain that fuel feelings of masculinity.

So if you decide to have sex like a man.. Ok, Recently I have had a whole new realization about sex. I realized in my last dating escapade that I really should not be sleeping with a guy until we are in a commited relationship. The reason why is because yes, it does make me crazy when I like him and then we sleep together yet there is no commitment. It makes me upset and needy and probably does make him run off, which is somewhat understandable. But sometimes in truth the relationship is really not there yet.

I feel like girls are trying to hide all these feelings and play it cool, when of course we feel attached and close to them. We have given them something special and given everything we have got to them. I really just think its unfair. Not all girls want a commitment But for those that do, I feel that it is way too hard to have sex with a guy you care for, yet hang out in limbo playing it cool.

I really am sick of having sex waiting in the wings to see whether he is going to reject me or accept us. Sure, a lot of guys may not like that or get impatient, but forget that. My new thing is, why should I compromise what I want to please them.

For example, have sex with the guy, yet he is not even spending the night. He doing what makes him comfortable. I just thing society dimished how powerful sex is. It is something that causes a lot of pain and hurt when not in the right context and before the right time. A REAL man will not run away after sex. Most of men of course want sex. If a man is interested in you but not in sex, you gonna be worry about it. Your comment really proves how women tend to just think about what men want.

But women also naturally get attached to a guy when having sex, which is sort of contradictory to what guys feels, but equally important. Of course women sometimes want just sex — no strings attached. Because even anatomically speaking, women experience orgasm in their brain, while men experience it through some nerves in the lower back.

So men want sex as soon as possible — naturally — and women get attached very easily through sex, so they naturally feel the need to be in a relationship once they have sex. Both men and women are entitled to do what is right for them. If women on the other hand will compromise on this one, they end up feeling used and hurt; they will lose some of their confidence in themselves and in men. If you really like a guy and he asks for sex, wait until you can see that he is as hooked as you are.

Hey, thanks for this, I really like what you wrote about accepting that we feel attached after being with a guy and not hating ourselves for it paraphrasing. Acceptance overall is good for both parties! I think it starts with self acceptance.

The man who, most likely, you already know is not really remotely available or ready to be a mate. I was talking to the guy for two years and everyone said he liked me. So I finally gave in and had sex with him.

Like 5 minutes after he left he texted me. Later that day I told him I had straighten everything out, but I havent heard from him since. It has been three days since we have had sex, Ive texted him back the next day and he never responded. Did I pretty much tell him to get lost or something? Or was he using me for sex? You slept with him. I call his bluff. I do the strip tease with the lacy lingerie, waxed like a porn star. So, I take off my underwear. So we cuddle, and I try to reassure him that the whole thing was fun, because I enjoyed the time with him.

When he finally contacted me it was a text to say he had a cold, but that would ask me out when he got better. It would just be nice for a guy to be upfront from the beginning.

If a guy says he is looking for something serious then of course, we are going to react to that and want to nurture that possible relationship. I had a guy literally tell me he was serious about me after our first date. If this site and advice is actually offered by a guy and not a clever female! That is astonishingly refreshing. Definitely keeping this on one my daily reads list. I broke up with my boyfriend going on our 5 year being together ,, we where apart for 11 months.

During that time which he lived with his back then girlfriend in her home and they worked in the same place of employment. He always call but I never answered because I knew he was living his girlfriend. He would always drive by my house at al hours of the day to check on me. SEcretly he was paying my bills online.

He had my information from when we where still dating. Eventaully we got cak together. Today we have been 7 years dating, engaged once and never got married. My question is will we ever actually get married?

My problem is almost the same as the problem of the girl above. It really open my eyes to a bunch of solutions for this complicated problem. I pretend everything is fine. This article was an eye-opener! How do you know if you and your partner are officially over and if he has already moved on… we got into a big disagreement and went a couple of days without speaking nor seeing each other but then I broke the silence and called him but now its back to silence with each other in almost a month,,, Are we really done..?

Think about it this way. This I believe is what he is speaking about. Recently I went out on a date with a guy I met online. This may sound awful but it was a huge turnoff for me.

Even though his actions said one thing his attitude and overall energy screamed doormat, pushhover and extremely desperate. People can perceive things about us even by the way we walk and carry ourselves. People pick up on vibes. I have to give it to Eric, that was some great advice.

Sounds like she did everything right! Do guys have some sort of esp? If thats such a turn off how do we ever find a guy. We are not perfect. How is that being a prize? I, mean were supposed to enjoy each other, right? Are we supposed to communicate telepathically or something?

If a guy is not even thinking about a relationship, and he senses the girl is AT ALL, he will pull back. Thinking about it at all is considered obsessing.

And a guy starts looking for those signs and getting fearful practically the minute he ejaculates. Never ever ever equate sex and relationship in any way. For instance, I do not blow off my morning to spend it with the guy afterwards.

That kind of stuff. But I like this approach because it takes the initiative, and just getting it out there is a relief for everybody. I have a similar problem: I know a guy who likes me.

You know, hot bath, wine, music, and shenanigans. How ridiculous is that?! Julia…your post cracked me up. The needy male bed buddy! And you are the one who just wants sex. Thanks for making me laugh…even thru all my pain. OK now, why is knowing what you want equated with neediness? And he is needy? Seriously, people, think of the notion of neediness again, cause from that point of view wanting a relationship looks like a terrible thing. From what I experienced and noticed around me, those who complain about neediness of others the most, usually have committment issues and get freaked out about completely normal behaviour of interested person.

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When a Guy Withdraws After Sex. Is He Losing Interest? Does he spend time with you as often as he used to? No, he never spends time with me. It's like I don't exist.

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